Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
