Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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