Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Do vagina's smell?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
