You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
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