I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
