so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
