he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
