38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
