Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
