I just made out with a guy for $7.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Randomize
