Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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