i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
