i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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