Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
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