I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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