btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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