ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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