Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
