You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
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