If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
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