Dual....:-)
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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