what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
