Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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