I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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