Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
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