Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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