Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Randomize
