I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
