Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
