I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
