did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
