grandma shit on top of the toilet
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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