After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
