no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
