he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize