so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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