What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
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