white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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