Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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