If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
