Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
