You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Even the bartender felt bad for me
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize