I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
