Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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