We're facebook friends in real life
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
Randomize
