can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
