It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
