people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
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