shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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