"it" just moved
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
