i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm sobbing to NWA
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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