Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
