Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
