Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Randomize