The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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