you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
