FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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