I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
omg last night while walking home from your house I stole a seatless bike and carried it into my next door neighbors kitchen.. we just looked It up online it's an antique and worth $500 dollars
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