I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Randomize
