She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
