I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
