Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
