This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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