Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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