the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
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